Today was a wonderful day filled with visiting teaching two wonderful women with my awesome companion/neighbor, early release playdates, snuggling in bed early this morning with Robby, visiting Papa and picking up E's beloved blankie while the Miss went to gymnastics, $1.79 wacky packs for dinner and a LARGE Vanilla Dr Pepper for me {mmmmm...thanks for the reminder Emily}, kids willingly helping sort/fold/put away clothes without any complaints?!, late baths and fun Geotrax building before bedtime. Although I am missing my Mr who is far away in New Hampshire, today was the kind of day that gives me an overflow of gratitude for my opportunity I have to mother and teach these three special spirits in my home. I feel like have been so blessed to hear those little voices call out "Mommy" throughout my day and I cannot get enough of the kisses and hugs I am showered with.
Being the excellent visiting teacher that I am (not), I hadn't read the lesson for this month and somehow did NOT remember it from when my ladies came by and visited me. During our visit today, Jamie talked about the importance of the Relief Society and I was so touched with her thoughts. I have felt such a void in my life the last two years in this category particularly. I have been either working or in nursery for almost two years at church and have really missed the promptings I feel in my heart during the lessons that are taught each week at Relief Society. During this time I have worked during nearly every enrichment activity and thus attended few of these which has only made this longing more intense. It has really made me feel disconnected from our ward friends. {I still remember when I was officially called to serve in Nursery. I had already been basically serving in there for the past six months due to some behavior issues with Mr R. I remember Br. XXXX coming to the house and looking me straight in the eye and asking if I would be willing to serve in the Nursery. I was such a wimp and could hardly look at him while I spurted out a "yes". As soon as he left I burst into tears and sobbed for probably thirty minutes. At that moment I went on a "little" pity party and really felt like no one understood how hard my life was; I thought that Heavenly Father had abandoned me. Gradually I "put on my big girl panties" (like Jamie Gallegos would have said) and forced myself to accept this} Now fast forward one and a half years later and lets just say I was a tad bit excited to finally be released from this calling. Now before I sound like the last few years have been all negative, let me list some of the positives:
*I have gained a deeper appreciation for the women {and men} that diligently serve as Nursery leaders
*I have learned that although friends are great to have and spend time with, they are not a necessary piece that I have to have in life; the most important thing is relying on my beautiful little family and leaning on my husband, Mother, sister, and in-laws for strength in dark times---and of course my Father in Heaven and elder brother Jesus Christ.
*I have come to love many of the little children in my ward: Ellie with her wisdom and kindness that are far beyond her years, Jane's spunky personality and love for all her babies, the twinnies--Brooklyn and Londyn--strong personalites and hearty appetites, Brett's LOVE of trains and equally hearty appetite, Ethan's initial shy personality that has now developed into a very confident boy that knows exactly what he wants, my snuggler E, Kinsley's sass and spunk- completely willing to stand up to Robby and deck him if she didn't get her way :), Robby with his transformation from Nursery terror to oldest child in the class, Tyler's calming presence, and Tinley--little lightweight that would fall asleep in my arms almost every week I was there {seriously LOVE her}
*I have learned a little bit about enduring. I have learned that you can survive more than you ever thought. I never thought I could withstand as much as I have the last two years; but here I am alive and doing well!! I have a career that has allowed us to have a roof over our heads, food on our plates, clothes, a little bit of $ for fun with the kiddos, a wonderful husband who is working sooo hard to get back into a fabulous graduate school program, wonderful neighbors who have become some of my closest friends, three exuberant, healthy children, and the best extended family I could ask for.
Another MAJOR blessing I have had along the way is my dear, sweet Eli. I feel like Heavenly Father really understood what we needed when he sent this special boy to us. He knew the challenges that lay ahead and had a plan mapped out for us. He sent us exactly the type of child we needed at this point in our lives. Eli has been the sweetest, most loving and happy spirit in our home. Even at two years old, Maddie constantly reminds me "how cute he is, how sweet he is...." He always has the biggest hugs and kisses to give me whenever I am in need. He is such a great listener and rarely throws tantrums {which are incredibly mild and easy to handle}. He is easy going and patient with us. He does like to climb and get into things, but it's incredibly difficult to get mad at him because he has such a tender heart. If you reprimand him at all, he gets this really sad look on his face and breaks into tears. He loves to help out and will always put away his shoes, dishes, pajamas with only being asked one time. He rarely says the word "No" and has even started saying "okay" when I ask him for help. Jesse and I constantly discuss how "good" of a baby/toddler he has been thus far. As I have really reflected on blessings today, I am openly acknowledgly that it wasn't by chance that Eli came into our family at this time. Instead, he was a blessing bestowed to us by our Father in Heaven to help us through our challenges! So thank you Eli for coming into our home....you are truly irreplaceable :)
